After my dog had surgery I got this humorous note from a friend. I can relate! LOL
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she
laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said; "I'm
sorry, your duck (Cuddles) has passed away."
The distressed woman wailed; "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead." replied the vet.
"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around, and left the room.
He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As
the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind
legs, put his front paws on the examination table, and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes
and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.
A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the
table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat
sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, and strolled
out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said; "I'm sorry, but as I said, this
is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a
bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock,
took the bill. "$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my duck is
dead?"
The vet shrugged; "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $20, but ... with the Lab Report and the Cat
Scan, it's now $150.
(I only wish my bill had been $150.00)
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